kerewin's whine cellar

Dear, effing food network

Stop showing things like Mario Batali's Biography because all it does is make me want to go to New York and eat like a pig.

ty

k

Dear Dr. Freud,

I think I am looking for closure. The last couple nights I have had some strange dreams. Two nights ago, I dreamed I was sitting in a restaurant at a long table but just one person beside me. Up walks my old boss, the one who got to give me the ax, the one who has yet to call me to chat even though we were friends. He comes right up to me, I stand up and he gives me a long hug and says, "My secretary (he doesn't have a secretary in real life) told me you were here and I really wanted to come by and see you." Then I woke up.

Last night I dreamed I ran into the owner of the company, a woman who recruited me to the job, also someone I considered a friend. I said to her, "Can't we just pretend that never happened and just go on like everything is alright until it is?"

She replied, "I don't think I am ready for that, it is going to take some time."

As I woke up I thought to myself, "What does SHE need time for? I was the one who was let go!" I'm still chasing some sort of real closure and it clearly isn't going to come.

In other news, my parents were here for 4 days and I started a new job last week that is kicking my ass. Don't get me wrong it is a good kind of ass kicking but I am just not used to it after a month off. Dude, is it the weekend, yet?

I'm Sorry!

Azúl,

I sincerely apologize for locking you in the coat closet last night. I didn't realize you snuck in there while I was cleaning things up. Looks like you had an interesting adventure, although I do appreciate that you didn't pee on anything. All that wrapping paper can be recycled, thank goodness.

It sort of broke my heart that when I woke up at 3am to go to the bathroom and found you that you latched onto me and purred your heart out. Very sweet. I take it back, you can pounce on my feet all you want.

love,
me

Hard Work, If You Can Get It

Dear Me,

You are supremely fond of being a person who hasn't burned a bridge (job-wise). No matter how pretty it makes you, it is extremely difficult to maintain when you are the one to be let go. Wouldn't it be so nice to answer an old customer's call with a rude response, or just never pass on a message? Pretty skippy.

Also, a lot easier to not burn a bridge when you leave of your own accord. This whole layoff thing leaves scars when you have to tell people what happened. It is like a break up where you keep thinking you are over it only to run into yet another friend who has no idea.

However, I hope this is a lot like other parts of life that have sucked. They get less sucky over time.

Buck up little camper.

k

Dear New Cat, Azúl,

Yes, you're adorable. Now, can you please stop jumping on my feet and biting them while I am sleeping?

Thanks!

Dear Me,

No pictures this time (jesus could your page take longer to load?). My god do you ever plan on updating this POS? All I see here is whining and whinging.

Here's the thing. You had a great time in South Africa, how's about you finish resizing those photos and post a few? Maybe you could put up a post about your new job, the one that is a lot like your old job but with more security, more organization, and more support.

First, get a good night's sleep tonight because tomorrow will be longer than today (it is hard to work a full day after a month off, isn't it?) and apparently you signed up to post a month of letters (sucker).

Love,
Me

So....South Africa

First, let me say that this made me cry:

Because they still read my website. And remember that one time I was walked to my car with all my office supplies in a box? And told never to return? Wasn't THAT the best thing that ever happened to me.

Second, I am surprised that after all this lax writing that I can even summon the ability to use any html (or whatever we are calling it these days) in a post.

Third? Dude, the cutest penguins in the WORLD live in South Africa at Boulders Beach.

These are what I call the Reservoir Dog Penguins, also known as Jackass penguins because of the braying they do.

Seven days in South Africa and I came back a new person. I met fifteen really cool people (that includes the driver and the tour guide). No one was there to just drink like mad and no one was annoying. Everyone was really, really cool. I learned a ton and got to hang out with many wine makers.

Then I came home and got laid-off. Thus, the crying. What a strange, strange world. Luckily, I am in a good place in this industry. I have old accounts calling me with leads and distributors calling me for interviews. This is a lot better than last week when my mental state was a little fragile.

More upsides: the kitchen is almost completely re-organized and is completely clean, laundry is done, and my car is washed. If this unemployment keeps up I might have a clean house for the first time in....oh, let's not talk about that.

Maybe this is the best thing that ever happened to me? Yeah, maybe not.