to start the 7th and final book in a series on Saturday right before midnight.
On another note Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows has more endings than LotR: Return of the King.
Roses
different colors
but all alike
simple signs of love
Beautiful.
Sitting
without chairs
becomes difficult because
then it's just painful
wallsits
Last night I found a folder from the creative writing class I took my sophomore year of high school. I haven't read through the whole thing yet but it is pretty bad. Here is a quick poem I wrote that used the "alphabet-scheme":
Horrible Vision
Americans bury cats,
Dutch-English freaks grab hats.
Iranians just killed Latin-Mexicans.
Netherlands offer Palestinians
Queen Rhonda's silver Tupperware.
Unitarians verify wanting xenophobia.
Yard Zealots!
Seattle is very well known for its legendary string of rainy days. Very well known for having wet, chilly Junes and crappy fourths of July. So, ok, global climate change and whoopee! It is toasty here today. So toasty that when I go to Santa Barbara this weekend to play cards with friends until all hours of the night it will be cooler in SB than here. I have to go to Southern California to get away from the heat.
I sell wine for a living and to do that I have to drive around all day. With wine that can't be 90 degrees. I also have the smartest of smart black-car-with-black-interior. So I was a little cranky today and every time I answered my phone or visited an account and they asked me how I was I said, "toasty." Then I would proceed to complain about not sleeping well and how I didn't sleep in the basement even though I should have because there weren't any (clean or otherwise) sheets on the bed downstairs. So I was merrily going about my way, bitching, and near my last stop a salesperson behind me in line said, "I'm not going to complain about the weather."
In doing so he managed to elevate himself above us all. All of us whiny assholes who hate the heat. He had a point, if you don't whine about the weather maybe it won't be as hot.
Does this tie into anything? Not really but maybe.
I haven't been doing much here because if I did it would all be pretty whiny. Oh poor me I have a sick friend and a friend who had a deep loss and a cousin who blah blah blah. Deeply felt but not something I felt I could share. Aside from that what do you say? {Having said that I would like to say that the most valuable thing I was told during this time was, "Even though this isn't your personal loss you have a right to be sad and depressed and feel emotional."}
Add to that the fact that I read what other people write and realize that I have no focus here and maybe if I did I would have a "readership." However, there is no way that I want to just devote this space to recipes, or wine tips, or even how much I am gardening lately because all of these things are me. Then there was that whole feeling lost in this space and what do you do about that?
The other day I read this piece. This blog that I check often because the writing is beautiful and writerly and sad and funny all at once. She had a personal crisis, one deftly handled it seemed but I wanted to leave a little note. A sign that said, "Man, I've been there and it sure sucks but things get better, even without you really trying." So I started out. And erased. And started out again and... How do you say all those things and not sound righteous or bossy or downright rude? So in vague terms I wrote out how it has felt for me to be at the bottom and how it got better until it seemed like all that was behind.
Even though it was a comment on someone else's blog I felt like it was some of the best writing I had done in a long time (dood here's that righteous part I was talking about). It made me feel better myself. It was sort of like all the digging in the dirt I have been doing these last few weeks. The thing I was telling this stranger was something I also needed to tell myself.
Some days down the road you will see with sunshine. Miraculously, that sunshine won't erase the bad day but it won't remind you of it, either.
So even though it is as hot as a mofo here I have a silly smile on my face. Goddamn sunshine, it looks pretty nice.
Yesterday I spent a couple of hours digging holes and planting plants. Today my shoulders and arms are in a state of rebellion. The upside is that the more I dig in the dirt and take care of plants the better I feel. Maybe I could be a plant therapist?