kerewin's whine cellar

I'm Home?

I am on the cusp of my first 90 days with the new company. It is weird to look upon it from these eyes. Back when I started I was excited because the people I interviewed with were dynamic and funny. I was worried about selling a large book of wine, one I didn't know very well. I was extra worried about selling a large corporate brand.

The first couple weeks in August I merely drove around with my new boss getting introduced to new and old accounts. We ate out a LOT. As you would when you sell to restaurants (no more grocery store in ANY capacity, can you say Hallelujah?). My previous two companies, while great, had some drawbacks for accounts. The first company was so large that I was generally the 3rd or even 4th rep from the same company. The next one was so small that when I went to introduce myself (one more point, that whole self-intro thing, very small company) the customer would frown and say something like, "Well, there's already too many companies."

With this new company, even though fairly large, I never encountered anything like that. Everyone seemed really happy to see me. Also, after three years of almost all the same accounts it felt really great to be jolted into new territory. Maybe I was complacent before, maybe I let comfort prevent me from acting out. Maybe, maybe I was tied into my old territory and not willing to look outside of it.

So, all these people happy to see me. Old customers, new customers, fellow salespeople, new company, new vendors, all with smiles on their faces and hands out. Why then did I feel like an imposter? Why did I also feel like it was possible that I was just doing a job that would give me a paycheck?

First, let me say that when I left Largest Wine Distributor in Seattle I was more or less happy. However, I got an offer to work with a friend for a small company with GREAT wines. Not a single conglomerate. All wines chosen and agreed upon by staff so not a single stinker in the book. Also, a chance to develop their restaurant sales, which they never worked on before. Seattle is so granola, so about the small, family-owned company, how could this not be right?

One thing I never considered: Was my pond big enough to move and make a difference? After meeting all these new-to-me customers in my old territory I can tell you now, I would be a lot more effective at the small company with all these new customers. Oh hindsight, you temptress.

My heart was broken in many tiny pieces when I was laid off from the small company. It is still very broken. I can't even shop in the place near our house because my old company has a lot of wine there and I can't walk around the store without feeling bad. I miss my friends, I miss that wine. I was more than good at my job, I loved it. As you might imagine I am no longer friends with the owner. What I didn't imagine is that I would also lose a very close friendship with the Sales Manager and his wife. I have reached out to him several times with no response back. I need to cut my losses there.

So, happy at new work? Ah, you know, more or less. A lot more driving due to warehouse being about 20 miles farther away. More rules. Ridiculous meetings (not the meetings but sometimes the bitching of the old school salespeople). The big gift was/is the portfolio. We have wines from almost every country that makes wine, we have a very decent local portfolio, we carry beer, there's a spirit division. Good benefits, great car allowance.

Still, at my first general sales meeting I felt a bit like a fraud when they posted everyone's sales percentage (this is not just general dollar totals but also broken out by a few important brands each month) and mine were mostly negative in comparison with the year before. That's a hard blow to a competitive person. Still, my manager and his boss both praised me highly that day. Freqeuntly in accounts he says I am one of his best hires. My little self whispers, "They are just trying to make you feel better about doing so poorly."

Then my tiniest, most private voice said, "This is why you were laid-off. You aren't very good at this. It was just nicer than saying you were fired."

This morning I went to my third general sales meeting. I came in knowing that I exceeded 80% of my goals for the month. Each month is a little better. I am turning my territory around. That and I have opened something like 7 new accounts. Apparently I learned a skill from the last company after all.

Today I remember that I am really good at this job. I am a mighty force to be reckoned with and other people are shaking. They should. Today I know that I wasn't laid off from my last job for merit.

Posted by kerewin at June 28, 2008 12:03 AM