When AmigaBoy and I were first dating he used to say things all the time that indicated he thought we were permanent. "We should go to New Orleans together," or "We should go rafting next Summer." Nice things. Incredibly sweet things. It made me nervous.
I was much more accustomed to men who said things like, "We shouldn't tell anyone we are dating," or "I haven't dated anyone for more than six weeks, so I am sure it won't last." Then I was terribly surprised when those things didn't work out!
So, AB and the sweet things. He also held my hand all the time and said highly complimentary things. So I was sure it was fishy and it was starting to bother me. Shouldn't this person act as if I didn't exist? The more he seemed to want me, the more I was ready to bolt. Finally one night we were out for a long walk. He held my hand and said all the normal things he said and I just blurted out, "You are freaking me out, this is going too fast, why are you always talking about the future? We might not even make it that far! And for god's sake, stop HOLDING MY HAND all the time."
His reaction? "Oh, ok, no problem." Then he stopped holding my hand. I felt so calm and good in that moment. I felt a surge of huge attraction and I stopped freaking out. Sudddenly it was alright if he talked about the future or held my hand, or did sappy, nice things.
Sometimes just getting it off your chest is all that is needed. Then the thing you thought you needed isn't there anymore.
Posted by kerewin at December 13, 2006 05:21 AMWhat a great little story. Funny how we make things out to be so much bigger than they are.
Posted by: khylek at December 13, 2006 09:04 AMWe just don't know how to act if someone is nice to us and appears to like us. How sad is that?
Posted by: meno at December 13, 2006 11:36 AMWe are all like Groucho Marx, we all wouldn't belong to any club that would have us. That being said, there really is something very attractive about pride, which being an asshole can sometimes be mistaken for.
Posted by: kerewin at December 14, 2006 08:12 AM