October 24, 2006

Maybe That's A Bit Too Much Info

My friend Kelly worked in a swimsuit store when she was younger. She said that lots of disgusting things happened there. All I could conceive of was that some chick didn't wear underwear or something when trying clothes on. Turns out my imagination leaves a lot to be desired.

"Guys would come in, pick out Speedos and go into changing rooms. At first you think nothing of it, and swing by and ask them if they needed anything else. Many times the guy would ask for an opinion on a suit and then open the door and be there with nothing on but the speedo, a smile, and a big boner."

"What would you do?" I asked.

"I would just shut the door and walk away. It happened all the time."

What did the guys look like?"

"They were all disgusting, they did it to all the other girls, too. It was lots of different guys. That isn't even the worst part!"

"What could be worse than that?"

"Sometimes you would go in the rooms to put the clothes away and there would be...well, you're eating, I don't want to ruin your appetite."

See what you have to look forward to?

By the way, this is hysterical:

I just read a Christopher Hitchens quote where he said that the four most overrated things are champagne, lobster, anal sex, and picnics. Although I am not a huge fan of the Hitch, I liked that sentiment very much. I would like to organize a picnic where everyone eats lobster and drinks champagne and butt-fucks the other guests and yawns mightily with the utter dreariness of it all. More champagne, my dear? More backdoor action? Oh dahling I couldn't possibly. This whole scene is so last year.
Posted by kerewin at October 24, 2006 09:33 PM
Comments

Oh.My.God. While I am sort of horrified, I'm sat here grinning too - perhaps I just have a suitably sick sense of humour too.

Posted by: Jonathan at October 26, 2006 01:21 AM