Today I was running around and hungry for a bite, I stopped at a local bagel shop and had a SuzyQ Special minus the smoked salmon (not that they would know what that was – plain cream cheese, onion, tomato, capers, smoked salmon, salt, and pepper on a toasted everything bagel). The shop is on First Avenue right near the Pike Place Market and I spied a table near the window, perfect for some quiet gnoshing and some telephone work.
As I finished my sandwich I started to collect all the trash and get things together. I turned slightly to pick up something that I dropped. I noticed that outside just across the window from my table was a man reading a magazine. The title of the article he was looking at caught my eye. "Ten Tips To Tighten Your Pu..." with his arm draped over the rest of the last word. I stood up to get a better vantage point and got much nearer the window. This is the part where if fate wanted to tell a very embarrassing story she would have him turn and catch me. Luckily fate was more interested in this story right here.
He lifted his arm to have a drink of coffee and lo and behold, "Ten Tips To Tighten Your Pussy." Thinking perhaps that it would be some weird cat fanciers story or something I took a closer look. In silhoutte on the article were women's bodies, nothing graphic but it was pretty clear the topic of the article at this point. I dumped my trash and walked out on the sidewalk and tried to spy what magazine he was reading. At that point he was furtively flipping pages.
So when I got home tonight, I took the bullet for you, dear readers. I googled the title to find out the name of the magazine and let me tell you, you won't be finding articles on how to tighten any muscles. If you are looking for that, you might just look up Kegel Exercises.
There is another good way to develop your Kegel muscle. Most people already know how I can't do a number two while travelling*. However, when I was a kid, I was also paranoid about people hearing me go pee. If I was in a public restroom and someone would walk in while I was going, BOOM, it would just stop. DEAD. Let me tell you, that shit hurts. In my teen years I finally worked my way out of it, but I still have the ability to stop on a dime, if need be.
*Seriously, I don't think I can link to the Argentina story three times in one week
Posted by kerewin at August 3, 2005 10:11 PM