June 07, 2005
The Tent
When I was first in college, my Dad bought me a tent. It was a lovely tent. A four-person, one-room tent in blue. I used it a couple times, it was great. It went up easily, it wasn't too big, nor too small. It would have been the perfect tent for years to come. Except that somewhere, sometime between moves, some roommate swiped it.
Sometime after that, my Dad asked about the tent and I had to admit that I didn't have it anymore and why. He was so cool, and he went and got me a new one. This was about the time that the Hub and I were first dating. Dad said he was torn between a round tent and the one he ended up getting. It was a two room tent, it held EIGHT people! It was SO cool! The Hub however, was less enthusiastic.
"It's too big," he whined.
"It's hard to put up!" (yeah, when you lose the directions!)
Whenever I suggested getting a new tent though, oh nooooooooooooooooooooooo. In fact, I ended up using the tent fewer times than the good ole Hub. It was always offered as a loan out to friends whenever they went camping. It was damn handy! Even with only two people camping I loved that you could have a room to put all your stuff, and then a room for just your sleeping bags. I don't know about you, but when I was camping with my parents, as a kid, we were warned over and over and OVER about NOT TOUCHING THE SIDES as then rain could GET THROUGH THE TENT AND GET US WET! With this huge tent, it was guaranteed that nothing would touch. You could practically park the Beetle in one of the rooms and still have room for a small couch.
This last March is was unseasonably warm here in Seattle (helloooooo high 80s) and the Hub wanted to go camping with his friends. Gosh, I wonder what tent they wanted to use? So the man and his friends go out, use MY tent and have a (semi)good time. Of course, if they had thought to pack along some DRY WOOD for camp fires, or even the gas can for the lantern, their fun would have increased tenfold, but hindsight and all. They ended up going to bed just past sunset because they got too cold standing around the fire in the dark. Later, I asked why they didn't get out their sleeping bags and sit around the dark fire and chat. D'oh! Brainiacs, they are.
So the Hub comes home with my tent and proceeds to splay it out on the lawn. I was a bit confused since according to my Father the MOST BASIC tenet of camping is the tight rolling of (dry, clean) equipment before leaving the campground. The Hub felt it needed an 'airing out' since the bottom was damp and he didn't want to put it away wet. He swore on 8 stacks of Bibles that he would roll up the tent the next day. Of course, it rained buckets that evening. And the next 3-4 days.
It got sunny again and we tossed it over the fence that separates our yard from the neighbors yard. After a day or two of sun I created a winter storm warning in Seattle by saying, "Honey I think the tent is dry, can you PLEASE roll it up, NOW?" This is about the point that The Principle kicks in. The one that prevents me from shaking the tent out and putting it away, myself. In fact, I must be coerced to assist in moving it around to potentially dryer spots. For the last month or so the tent has been laying on top of a huge wooden box that lives at the end of our carport.*
I swear that EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I even think the words, "you should get that put away while it is dry," it starts raining. Let's be realistic though, it has been since late March since this tent was used. I am sure that it was dry maybe once or twice along the way. This is partially my fault, because I am working really, really hard against the nagging gene present in my family and I refuse to nag him about it each and every day. Of course the real blame lies with the Hub and his complete and utter lack of regard for my tent.
So he went to Vancouver B.C. yesterday, for the rest of the week. When I got home from work yesterday I decided to mow the lawn. I am certainly not perfect, it was definitely a few days overdue. In fact, the time before last it was a couple months overdue, but I am trying to stay on top of it. So, I got out the mower and got into this zen mode. DANDELION KILLER. Until I got to the back yard and the tent was very much in my way. I considered just mowing over it and ruining it. It was very tempting. After two and a half months of ghetto yard I was a tad bit tired of it. (Oh my god, how did we turn into THOSE neighbors?????????) I resisted the temptation and instead, lifted it up to mow under.
Oh. My. God. The bugs, and the SLUGS, and the shit flying around under there and the SPIDERS!?!?!?!!?!? I can't even begin to tell you about the pink, moldyish goo. So I grabbed the damn thing and pulled it into the driveway and thought about what I was going to do with it. *CRINGE* Not one single chance that I was going to clean it. Therefore, that would make it difficult to clean and dry and fold up and put away. Instead, I opted for the corner.
I live on the corner of a not-so-busy and decently-busy intersection. It is some miracle yard sale space. We have put stuff out there that we wanted to give away and while we were in the house making the "Free" sign, the stuff was taken. It is June, the start of camping season, a tent shouldn't last 5 minutes out there. So I haul the damn thing out to the corner, touching the dryest, cleanest portion possible. Then I go inside and find the bag with all the poles and tent stakes. Out it goes, too. Then I find a box and attach a FREE sign to it and toss it on the heap.
Then I call the Hub and tell him about my moldy find while I was mowing. He asks if I would be kind enough to shake it out for him and lay it on the driveway to dry out. AHAHHAhahahahHAHAHAHA. Ahem. So I break the news to him that if no one claims it by Tuesday evening, then when he gets back HE will get the opportunity to clean it out, himself.
This morning the damn thing was still there. The marketing stoolie inside me asks, "Why?"
Hmmmmm, Well maybe the heap of nylon with a sign on it hardly looks like a tent. So I get out another piece of paper and with my Sharpie, print, "TENT." I take it outside and tape it to the other sign.
FREE TENT
When I got home from work today the only thing left was the box with the sign. SUCKERS. I feel on top of the world. Looks like we are in the market for a new tent. (Sorry, Dad!)
*Large wooden box? Could it possibly have held a pinball machine that the Hub bought a year and a half ago? I want it gone by this weekend, but I don't know what to do with it. I could chop it up and put it on the corner, but somehow, I doubt anyone wants this "FREE WOOD."